Through my window, the light leaks Pouring over my room I can see the outlines Of a world of gray The light illuminates the lay. I make out the edges of the T.V. And its red dot, glowing so hot, I can just see into the closet And the ties, hanging in a knot, I catch record player in the corner And it’s ready to burst to life on the spot. My room, like the world outside Is void of color, though still Taking in the light, Of the night. The lit shades of my window, still, Make my thoughts drift out To the world outside my life, Lit by a moon and a lamp, Yet shrouded by Night’s stamp. I make out the houses in a row And the chimney smoke rolling off to faraway, I can just see the shade of a birch And the leaves dropping, falling away, I catch the eyes of an owl And the scurry of its prey on its breakaway. The world outside, like my room Is void of color, though still Taking in the light, Of the night. So, as I lay here and fade to sleep I wonder at what will be. What shall the Light take away, As we come upon a new day. -Andy McRae– -4/29/20-
Month: April 2020
Room Dancing
Room dancing in my head The phone keeps ringing No connection Am I dead? Rushing Flooding Room dancing in my head The movements feel weird. Songs emotional impact Heightened mentally Room dancing in my head. Room dancing in my head Hands not working Room dancing in my head I laugh with the Room dancing in my head. 4/22/20
Around Me
Every moment I awake
From the dream unreal
Life shackled
The forest burning
around me
As I sit and stare.
4/22/20
Notecard Poem #4
Spade Opal 2:35 Feather Heartbeat Forbid Helicopter Levitate
This is probably my favorite of notecard poems. It is also the strangest.
ReKindled
I am letting them slip away
Friendships I once had
And never thought would
Go away.
Do they leave me,
Do I leave them,
Or do we fade
Not noticing until
It's gone.
I miss those bonds
Tying us together,
Making us close.
How do we rekindle
What was lost,
What is weakened.
Can we start anew?
Or are we destined to drift
To never see again,
Those we once held dear,
Those we once called friends.
4/22/20
Wrote this in the car before work.
Notecard Poem #3
Fallen from heights unfathomable Broken on impact, shattered Weakened by that fall, I was Low as I feel I must keep Death From coming near Looking for a way out This pit is so Dark I cannot clearly see So, I shout.
Emerald
Emerald oceans fly, Filling the air with light. Covering stars Looking I see life. Sweeping through the stream Beating to the drummer’s theme. Hearing the song that brings life down from the sky. Bliss taken in. All goes inside. The feeling stirring in the brain, Every time I hear your name.
This one was written some time during college
Spiders in My Head
In my head Spiders in the head Spinning webs Planting false memories Feeding on pain and misery Choking on pills that let me see The world ringing the life out My soul in chains Breaking limbs Insane Spiders in my brain Spinning webs Suffocating daydreams Escape in need Cobwebs in my eyes As the spider dies.
This poem deals with the issue of being on medication almost all my life. It is heavy in metaphors; just in case you did not catch that. I believe this was written back during college when I was on some medication that was not working right, and I was getting fed up with it.
I do believe that medication is a great thing when it works, but when it doesn’t it can be a very scary thing.
Down the Street
Down the street I stroll My scarf hanging in a breezeless night Ears full of screaming As the drums pound away. All alone, free of sight I sing the words in line Stringing from word to word The magical song of which I am an addict. Halfway through, I hear a shuffle Feet not mine, from somewhere back there I turn over my shoulder To find to my surprise A woman not far behind. Startled to learn That after all I was not alone.
Written my freshman year of college, this is a story about a late night walk to campus center to get some food. I believed myself to be alone, so I was singing along to a (then) new Soilwork song “This Momentary Bliss”, which I had been playing on repeat for a couple of days. When I got about 3/4 of the way there I realized there was someone walking behind me, though not directly. And since I went to a small college I sort of knew the person, so I felt really awkward.
Sight
What do I do, When stared in the eye? A confession that could move A man such as I. Does she know The power she holds. With but a word, To the floor I shall fold. A muse as beautiful As the word’s insight Given to a man Who stumbles through the night? A spell has upon me A grip fastened tight. If I am freed, Will I be left with any sight?
This poem is from my early college years.
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