Light Coming Through My Window by Night

Through my window, the light leaks
Pouring over my room
I can see the outlines
Of a world of gray
The light illuminates the lay.
 
I make out the edges of the T.V.
And its red dot, glowing so hot,
I can just see into the closet
And the ties, hanging in a knot,
I catch record player in the corner
And itโ€™s ready to burst to life on the spot.
 
My room, like the world outside
Is void of color, though still
Taking in the light,
Of the night.
 
The lit shades of my window, still,
Make my thoughts drift out
To the world outside my life,
Lit by a moon and a lamp,
Yet shrouded by Nightโ€™s stamp.
 
I make out the houses in a row
And the chimney smoke rolling off to faraway,
I can just see the shade of a birch
And the leaves dropping, falling away,
I catch the eyes of an owl
And the scurry of its prey on its breakaway.
 
The world outside, like my room
Is void of color, though still
Taking in the light,
Of the night.
 
So, as I lay here and fade to sleep
I wonder at what will be.
What shall the Light take away,
As we come upon a new day.
 
 
-Andy McRaeโ€“       -4/29/20-

Room Dancing

Room dancing in my head
The phone keeps ringing
No connection
Am I dead?
 
Rushing
Flooding
Room dancing in my head
The movements feel weird.
 
Songs emotional impact
Heightened mentally
Room dancing in my head.
 
Room dancing in my head
Hands not working
Room dancing in my head
I laugh with the
Room dancing in my head.
 
 
4/22/20

ReKindled

I am letting them slip away
Friendships I once had
And never thought would
        Go away.
ย 
Do they leave me,
Do I leave them,
Or do we fade
Not noticing until
       It's gone.
ย 
I miss those bonds
Tying us together,
Making us close.
ย 
How do we rekindle
        What was lost,
        What is weakened.
Can we start anew?
ย 
Or are we destined to drift
To never see again,
Those we once held dear,
Those we once called friends.
ย 
4/22/20

Wrote this in the car before work.

Emerald

Emerald oceans fly,
Filling the air with light.
Covering stars
Looking I see life.
ย 
Sweeping through the stream
Beating to the drummerโ€™s theme.
Hearing the song
that brings life down from the sky.
ย 
Bliss taken in.
All goes inside.
ย 
The feeling stirring in the brain,
Every time I hear your name.

This one was written some time during college

Spiders in My Head

In my head
Spiders in the head
Spinning webs
Planting false memories
Feeding on pain and misery

Choking on pills that let me see
The world ringing the life out
My soul in chains
Breaking limbs
Insane

Spiders in my brain
Spinning webs
Suffocating daydreams
Escape in need

Cobwebs in my eyes
As the spider dies.

This poem deals with the issue of being on medication almost all my life. It is heavy in metaphors; just in case you did not catch that. I believe this was written back during college when I was on some medication that was not working right, and I was getting fed up with it.

I do believe that medication is a great thing when it works, but when it doesn’t it can be a very scary thing.

Down the Street

Down the street I stroll
My scarf hanging in a breezeless night
Ears full of screaming
As the drums pound away.
 
All alone, free of sight
I sing the words in line
Stringing from word to word
The magical song of which
I am an addict.
 
Halfway through, I hear a shuffle
Feet not mine, from somewhere back there
I turn over my shoulder
To find to my surprise
A woman not far behind.
 
Startled to learn
That after all I was not alone.

Written my freshman year of college, this is a story about a late night walk to campus center to get some food. I believed myself to be alone, so I was singing along to a (then) new Soilwork song “This Momentary Bliss”, which I had been playing on repeat for a couple of days. When I got about 3/4 of the way there I realized there was someone walking behind me, though not directly. And since I went to a small college I sort of knew the person, so I felt really awkward.

Sight

What do I do,
When stared in the eye?
A confession that could move
A man such as I.

Does she know
The power she holds.
With but a word,
To the floor I shall fold.

A muse as beautiful
As the wordโ€™s insight
Given to a man
Who stumbles through the night?

A spell has upon me
A grip fastened tight.
If I am freed,
Will I be left with any sight?

This poem is from my early college years.