Why I am a Masochist
I have become a Masochist
purely for survival.
pain, radiates in waves
suffocating screams
locked in endless echoes
wailing inside
my head numb
from.
pain, to feel again
I long for
a sense of reality
nothing is better
to ground one
than true agony.
pain, a daily struggle
all day, I ache internally
dull depressive lows,
a blue harpoon to spear
a heart beating below.
pain, in a general flame
like a circus rolling around
my head is a lit with laughter
and laughter hurts more
when it is out of control,
hours blend, shrieks
terror before the blackout.
pain, it is how I survive past and thru,
apathetic, clear-headed, nearer to death
an apathy scares me more than pain
a lack of all emotion, a lack of all
void that hurts, or it would.
void, lingers in my heart
pain blurs the edges
and allows me to say
"I'm alright."
when pain is the only way
I make it day to day.
6/23/23
RadioactivePoetry 